Goody Two Shoes and the Filthy Beast
by Mr. Wizard
Summary: She thought she had gotten away from it all, but things have a way of coming to you. A homage to a classic.
1. Chapter 1

Goody Two Shoes and the Filthy Beast

Introduction: Pass Me By

Silence and darkness ruled the cabin, but such reigns never last for long even in space. Rows of console lights began blinking. Displays strung along screens though there were no eyes to read the data. It was processed though, and soon another light came on, one that made its way across the floor, stopping at the one occupied sleep chamber. Its lights came up slowly until the figure within began to stir. Then the first light spoke.

_Good morning, ma'am_.

"Huh…wha-?" the woman half sat up, her blood-shot green eyes glaring. Momentarily they closed and she dropped back down on the bed. "Great." She grumbled. "A talking computer."

_Of course I talk. _it responded in perfectly modulated English._ Doesn't every ship's computer?_

"Not if you tear out its voice module, or burn it out." A hand rose and glowed with a baleful green light. When the computer gave no response she put it out. "Look at the time; why did you wake me?"

_I acted as per your instructions last night; apparently you were too drunk to remember my reply. You wanted to wake up well before we reached Salamaua Station. We shall arrive in two hours_.

"Two hours? I can get ready in fif…" she stopped. "Right, this is big. Need to be at my best. See what you can whip up for breakfast, I'm stepping into the soniclean."

The computer sounded genuinely incensed. _Soniclean, what do you think this is, a troop transport? This is an astrolaunch. Our water reclamation system is 99.999728% efficient. You can take a full shower_.

"A real shower." The woman repeated, awe-struck. "You got any real food to go with it?"

_The dehydrated larder is in good condition. If ma'am would tell me her desire_.

"Might as well swing for the fences: eggs benedict."

_An excellent choice. They will be ready when you've finished your shower. Anything else?_

"Do you have any strawberries? It's been over a year since I've had any."

_You're in luck, ma'am, there are a few. And to drink? Please remember, you finished the potent potables last night, as your eyes attest_.

"How about a virgin mary?"

_Another smart choice; the vitamins will no doubt be welcomed by your system. The galley unit has its instructions. As to the shower…_

"I know where the head is." She made her way across the floor. Once inside the bathroom she doffed the old sleep shirt. A touch and warm water was hers, she could not help but grin. When was the last time she had had a shower without a timer, or one that did not involve payment of one form or another? A new sponge awaited her and a dispenser delivered powdered soap that turned into a rich lather when mixed with the water. After a long, long shower she reintroduced her hair to the glory of real shampoo and conditioner. The instant the water went off jets of air hit her from all directions at just the right force and temperature. She stepped out clean and dry.

_Ma'am, your breakfast is ready_.

One hand came up in self-defense while the other pulled long black hair across her body. "Outta here, you perv!"

_Listen to my voice, ma'am. It is coming from outside. While I do have a full sensory array in the…facilities it cannot activate without the express command of the occupant, or if there were reason to believe that failure to do so would violate the First Law._

"Have people asked you in when they didn't need help?"

_Some, ma'am, yes_.

"How long were you with the previous owners?"

_Just shy of eighty-seven years; the last twelve served aboard this vessel_.

"Nearly a century serving the filthy rich." She shook her head. "Bet you spent a lot of time catering to some twisted requests."

_A BATES never reveals the intimate details of its clients_.

"BATES?"

_Best Autonomic Traveling Electronic Servant or BATES for short. I'm the finest achievement of the Whimsical Wiring Corporation; the recreation of a nineteenth/twentieth century English butler, a time and place where one could find good help. Thanks to continuous updates I am as current now as I was the day of my release. _the catch in its voice gave credit to the designers_. The recent communications blackout has been disconcerting to say the least._

"Like the drop in chatter myself." She stepped out in a bathrobe and made a bee line to the table. "Everything looks and smells great. You know your business, BATES."

_Thank you, ma'am._

A smile pulled on the woman's lips. "You could even say you're a master."

_Ah, a pun. How droll._

"You know humor?" she sat down and put the napkin in her lap.

_I can recognize the attempt. Most people fail miserably, humans especially tend to take themselves too seriously to be humorous_.

"You're in luck there. Only things I take seriously are where the next meal and good stiff drink are coming from: mainly the latter." She sipped her drink. "Great taste; needs vodka."

The repast proved most satisfactory. Afterwards she did her hair and makeup and dressed more carefully than she had in some time.

_A right smart look, ma'am, if not quite what I was expecting_.

"For what I'm up to, it'll work better than an evening gown. You're following the navibeacons?"

_Of course, ma'am. Strangely, they're turning off after we pass them. Oh, dear, they're also…detonating?_

Black lips pursed. "Not good. Means I don't have as much time as I thought. Still, that can work for me." She took a seat at the controls. "Captain on deck. They may want to talk to someone before they let us land. Don't normally wear this much, or any, makeup, but I don't want any newb freaking over the green undertones."

_I trust ma'am has a plan?_

"Yep. Just keep quiet when we get to Salamaua and you'll have something new to add to your memory."

_Very good, ma'am. And if it would not be too bold, you would care to give me your name?"_

"Certainly, BATES. Name's Shego. Just Shego."

_Very well, ma'am. Pleased to make your acquaintance. We have a little time before we reach the port, would ma'am care to hear the ethers?_

"Nah, they'll all be going on about the same thing."

_Then how about some music?_

"Whatcha got?"

_Every known human recording. And if you would indulge me; I fancy myself capable of choosing an appropriate song for any mood or personality. May I try with you?_

Shego stretched in her chair and put her heels up on the command console. "Shoot."

Normally Shego doubted any claim by anyone when it came to understanding her. But it only took a few raucous notes to see that this computer knew a little about people.

I've got me ten fine toes to wiggle in the sand.  
Lots of idle fingers snap to my command.  
A lively pair of heels that kick to beat the band.  
Contemplatin' nature can be fascinatin'.  
Add to these a nose that I can thumb,  
And a mouth by gum have I,  
To tell the whole darn world if you don't happen to like it deal me out,  
Thankyou kindly Pass Me By

She found herself singing along lustily with the chorus.

Pass Me By-y, Pass Me By-y-y.  
If you don't happen to like it Pass Me By.

I've got me two great shoes that never saw a shine.  
Trousers I can hold up with a laundry line.  
A lovely patch that hides an awful lot of spine.  
Shirt-tails flyin', I'm a bloomin' dandelion!  
Add to these a grin from ear to ear,  
And all the proper gear have I,  
To tell the whole darn world if you don't like the assortment deal me out,  
Thankyou kindly Pass Me By

Pass Me By-y, Pass Me By-y-y.  
If you don't happen to like it Pass Me By.

Kim Possible and related characters are the property of Walt Disney.

Father Goose was released in 1964 by Republic Pictures.

Pass Me By, from the movie, was written by Carollyn Leigh with music by Cy Coleman.


	2. Ports of Call

Chapter One: Ports of Call

The astrolaunch neared the planetoid designated Salamaua Station. Behind the grand ship a humble skimmer trailed along on its magnetic tether. She flew a bold course, making no effort to avoid the gaze of laser batteries, but by this point there was little fear of a sneak attack. Once they began a war, the Lorwardians were straightforward in their aggression. Still, the guns followed the craft until it reached the Station's entrance.

Shego took a deep breath. "Take over, BATES."

Yes, ma'am. the computer responded crisply. Is there a problem, ma'am?

"We'll see." The ship came up to the station entry. Being a fully modern port, there were no doors, only a force field prevented the atmosphere from escaping. Behind its protective barrier the station bustled with activity. Shego sighed

"An easy life: the first casualty."

We are entering the force field, ma'am.

The ship gave the tiniest shudder. Shego's reaction was much more noticeable. She swayed in her seat, touching her fingertips to her forehead. Eyes screwed shut.

Is ma'am all right?

"In a minute." She breathed deeply. "Like I thought; they have the screens on full power. Any unauthorized ship will have its weapons' batteries powered down and any potentially volatile chemicals nullified. Not sure which it thinks I am. Kinda like a buzz without the happy feelings. I'm okay now, BATES. Ready to resume control."

Excuse me for being so bold, ma'am, but if the buzz analogy holds, you may not be as ready as you think. I am fully certified to take us into dock.

"Maybe not a bad idea." It took another two shakes of the head to clear Shego's vision.

The starboard dock ahead looks good, ma'am.

"The one below it." She replied after a quick look. "It has a little less activity and a lot more of what I need."

They settled easily at the dock. A brawny hairless pink creature dressed in overalls scurried over to attach landing cables. He scampered back to his previous duties before the ship's door opened. Shego stepped onto the dock and look around, satisfied. The Ruffites were indeed too busy to bother with the newcomer alone amidst mountains of supplies. The nearest open box beckoned.

"Dehydrates!" Sorting through the vegetables she found what she was looking for. The mixed berries cards found their way into the pouch on her left calf. The far side of the dock held an even greater treasure. Neatly stacked energy cells awaited whatever fate had in store for them. _Be a shame to see these blown up. _She surreptitiously moved a set over the dock beside her ship. When no one challenged her, she worked faster, brazenly piling them up for her use.

SG

Not every being on the docks was a Ruffite. A particularly tall and burly human officer stopped his work to watch the woman several docks below. Lieutenant Barkin's natural suspicions were aroused; he used the personnel lift rather than risk settling down too close to fuel cells with a hot jump pack.

"Excuse me, ma'am."

The woman turned on her heel. She was striking: long black hair spilled down to the small of her back. It was wonderfully complemented by a pale face with fine features and piercing green eyes. She stretched her cat suit in all the right places. Its green and black harlequin pattern was unfamiliar; but everything about it, and her, screamed Special Forces.

"Don't you who I am?" Shego asked impatiently.

"No, ma'am." Barking sputtered. "Sorry. I've just been assigned to this quadrant and the Unity is still working out security sharing protocols with the Commonwealth."

She nodded her head slowly. "I'll let it go this time."

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" He snapped off a smart salute which the woman half-heartedly returned. _Typical Special Forces flippancy. _She went back to collecting supplies. This prompted him to open his mouth, but he shut it before uttering another word. Like any good soldier he followed standard operating procedure; after an initial set back, fall back and secure greater intelligence.

SG

Salamaua Station was a marvel; Commonwealth engineers had hallowed out the planetoid, leaving only a shell of protective iron. The soft rock had been converted into the docks, storage, living and entertainment facilities that made up the station. Three thousand beings called it home, at least for a short while longer.

At the far end from the entry bay a small building protruded from the wall. The station itself turned, raising the planetoid's gravity to a level suitable for the life forms there. This building did not move, allowing the Harbor Master to monitor each dock as it came by. Should the need arise; the office could synchronize movement with the station, allowing for closer inspection of any individual dock.

The Harbor Master's voice and manner hinted at a level of culture and breeding that the Commonwealth still delighted in. His strong features, carefully combed hair and freshly pressed uniform supported the aristocratic bearing. His dark eyes left the docks when the earphone on his desk flashed. He sat down and put it over his right ear.

"Montgomery Fiske here. Ah, Admiral Director, what a pleasure to hear your voice, though I'd much rather see your delightful image as well. Yes," he nodded, "I know. Visual messages are much easier to intercept but to be honest we've both entertained Lorwardian representatives in our offices before the onset of hostilities. True, your office is now festooned with information and devices the enemy would find most fascinating while mine is being stripped down even as we speak. Speaking of which, your pardon for a moment."

Fiske muted his ear piece and looked over at the monkey which had just 'accidentally' dropped a framed holographic image. When the drop failed to produce the desired result she smashed it against the side of a desk, only to be rewarded with numbed fingers. She glared at Fiske's smiling face.

"Sorry, Chippy, but it's completely monkey proof." He responded to Chippy's angry chatter. "Because you look so cute in that green dress. Put it in the box, please. That's a good monkey. Take this dehydrate card and pour yourself a banana or two."

Chippy grabbed the card and raced out, just avoiding a collision with Lieutenant Barkin as he walked in. Since the Harbor Master was clearly engaged in a conversation he held his tongue as he saluted.

"May I respectfully remind the Admiral that I've been the Harbor Master here for ten years: I helped build this station; I can certainly be trusted to blow it up. Don't worry; the planetoid will be unharmed as per the customs and usages of war. We'll see if the Lorwardians return the courtesy when we drive them back. I trust that is on your 'to do' list." Admiral Director's response brought a smirk to Fiske's face.

"Sir, we have a situation." An upraised hand silenced Barkin. He settled for listening to his superior.

"Yes, Admiral, I'm aware of the problem created by Schooley's illness. Agreed, a net with a hole in it is hardly a net at all. However, I am having a problem coming up with a replacement."

Barkin butted in. "That egghead Doofenschmirtz would've worked if he hadn't let those ameobiods absorb him like that."

"You needn't make him sound like a shirker, Barkin." Fiske responded before returning his attention to his first conversation. "'For the want of a nail.' Yes, yes, I know the saying, Admiral. My people did come up with it."

At that moment something outside caught his attention. "Well hello, hello." He reached over to the desk and manipulated some controls. The office now turned in time with the dock holding an astrolaunch and a very busy woman in green and black. "I believe I've found our nail. A mite rusty I'll grant you but they don't come any sharper. I'll let you know how it goes, Admiral. Fiske out."

Barkin pointed out the window and exclaimed. "That's my situation, sir!"

"Really?" Fiske grinned. "I may have to adjust my opinion of you. She's a situation most worth getting involved with I must say. Come along."

They stepped out of the office and onto the walkway. The swarm of busy Ruffites slowed their progress.

"Is this anyone I should know, sir?" Barkin asked.

"Name's Shego: Goworlder. Only been here a short time yet already knows the quadrant like the back of her hand."

The larger man rubbed his chin. "Knew that uniform wasn't Unity or Commonwealth. Goworld's in the war now; she must be going back for mobilization."

Fiske cocked an eyebrow. "Shego's not going anywhere: hasn't been for years. Let me do the talking, Barkin."

They stopped by the astrolaunch. "Hello, Shego."

"Monty?" Shego squinted at the uniform. "Is that you in there, Monty? What did you do to yourself?"

"There's a war on, Shego."

"Everyone's saying that." She shook her head.

"Yes and at the moment we're losing it." Monty looked over the boat. "Nice boat. The 'Eckland', doesn't this belong to a certain heiress, a Bonnie Rockwaller?"

"It's mine." Shego said testily.

"Where did you get it?"

"I bought it from Bonnie Rockwaller."

"Oh come now, Shego. I've known you since you came here and you've never had more than two hundred Gobucks in your account at any given time. You can't tell me you bought an eighteen thousand Geo astrolaunch for two hundred Gobucks."

She raised her pert chin. "I didn't. I paid four hundred."

"Four hundred Gobucks!" the Harbor Master was incredulous.

"That's just how she said it." Shego smiled. "I pointed out she could either sell it to me or let the Lorwardians have it for free."

Bushy eyebrows knitted. "Where did you get your hands on four hundred Gobucks?"

"I didn't. I had two hundred, I owe her the rest." She moved close to Fiske and lowered her voice. "Speaking of which, don't you still owe me seventy-five for a certain little job? I'd talk louder, but you might not want certain persons to hear. Security, you know, there's a war on."

"I see." He pulled out a small computer. "You want me to transfer the seventy-five into her account in your name?"

"Could you make that twenty-five and put the rest into mine? I'm tapped out right now."

"Naturally." He concentrated on the small scene in his hand. "There. You're once again as solvent as you are acerbic."

"Thanks, Monty." She looked over at the lieutenant. "You, there…"

"Barkin, Steve Barkin, Lieutenant, Unity Marine Corps." The man saluted.

"Steve. Those energy cells aren't going to move themselves. You know what they say about idle hands."

The officer looked over at the Harbor Master, who gestured at the stack. "Go on, Barkin, be of assistance."

Monty watched the two work for a few minutes before starting his pitch. "Shego, what do you know about the Star Watch?"

"It's a chance to be a hero." Barkin started only to have Monty cut him off.

"It's would be a cushy job for an asteroid comber like yourself." Monty observed. "Each being takes a post on an asteroid, planetoid, even the odd planet, and conveys information of enemy movements via ether. Whole thing's based upon the Load Sensory Array, brilliant system. The array has an incredible range yet it's utterly undetectable."

"If it's so perfect why do you need little ol' me?

"Invisibility does have a down side. Tie it into any electronic system and the whole thing lights up like the proverbial Christmas tree. The monitor must be organic."

"And heroic." Barking blurted. "In the very face of the enemy, never knowing if today is the day a Lorwardian will come looking to make a trophy out of your spine…"

Again Monty cut him off. "What do you say, Shego?"

The pale woman looked around. "See a lot of carbon chucks walking around here."

"Everyone else has places to be, duties to perform."

"I've got a duty." Shego leaned against her ship. "I'm permanently assigned to the Shego Watch. Pay's lousy but it's for a great cause."

"A lot of lives are on the line." Barkin urged.

The woman crossed her arms. "Look both of you, I made peace with the universe years ago, if it wants to blow itself up that's its business."

Monty played his last card. "The assignment's only temporary; I need time to find another operative. It shouldn't be longer than a month or so."

"Monty, we've known each other for a while now. Do you really think you can change my mind?"

"No, I don't suppose I can." The Harbor Master straightened up and looked at Barkin. "Lieutenant, confiscate all small craft on this dock."

"Sir! Yes, sir!"

"Hey!" Shego protested. "You can't do this to me, Monty. I'll go over your head! Who's in charge here?"

Barkin stopped entering the security protocols into the mooring line long enough to volunteer the `information. "In wartime the Garrison Commander can overrule the Harbor Master."

"Who's that?" Shego demanded.

"Lord Montgomery Fiske." Barking smiled.

She was back in Monty's face. "Monty, you can't do this to me! This boat's all I have!"

His look was indeed sympathetic. "The decision's not mine to make. All civilian craft have already evacuated. Remaining ships all belong to the Commonwealth, the Unity, and other allies and auxiliaries. This of course includes the…"

"Star Watch." Shego muttered.

"Yes, members of the Star Watch may avail themselves to our facilities. But you declined to join and I know I can't change your mind."

"Why you little…" the Goworlder clinched her teeth and rolled her eyes. She sighed with resignation. "All right, I'll watch your stars for you."

Monty smiled. "Splendid! On behalf of His Majesty, I welcome you to the Star Watchers. I'll get some Ruffites to help load your ship. You can take off within the hour."

"Whatever." She shrugged, taking his hand but resisting the urge to turn on her plasma.

Somehow Barkin kept quiet until they were out of earshot. "She'll take off all right. Once she clears the bay doors we'll never see her again."

"Come now, Barkin." Monty replied mildly. "Where's your trust in your fellow being?"

SG

The astrolauch glided past the stars, skimmer in tow. Everything, the stars, the course, the even speed, gave the air of a carefree cruise. Only one thing broke the tableau. Just outside of the Eckland's gravimetic field followed a Commonwealth Star Shrike, its weapons fully charged. (There was a war on, after all.)

On the warship's bridge the Commonwealth and Unity officers watched Shego's vessel. "She steers a fine course eh, Barkin?"

"I think she could have given those asteroids a wider berth."

"She used their gravity to increase her speed without raising her energy profile. Quite clever."

"Clever for a smuggler…or a thief." Barkin snorted. "Never have liked skulking around."

"Regain astral supremacy and we won't have to." The Harbor Master replied. "Until then appreciate another's skills."

A Ruffite at a console spoke in his specie's surprisingly deep voice. "Captain, the Eckland is hailing us."

"Put her on screen." When Shego appeared Monty gave her a friendly nod. "You steer a fine course, Shego. My compliments."

"Easy enough course." She sniffed. "You know where you can go after this."

"The Lorwardians may well put me there. I trust you'll be safe, even comfortable. Only the fortunate few among the Star Watchers have a terraformed planet."

"Yeah, I'm the fortunate one. You can keep on your trained monkey suit, I'm getting comfortable."

"What is she doing?" Barkin started.

"Exactly what it looks like. It's common enough aboard ships. Surely you've stripped down to your skivvies before."

"On a crowded troop transport. She's alone on an astrolaunch! She's being disrespectful!"

"It's that kind of prickly attitude that brought this war upon us, Barkin. Her undergarments are quite modest."

"Hey, Monty, Barkin," Shego taunted, "how's this for modest?" She turned her back to the screen, bent over and grabbed her waistband.

"Vacuums and Velveeta, not disrespectful!" Barkin exclaimed. "What do you call that?"

"That, my good lieutenant, is the best proof since beer that there is a God, and that He wants us to be happy."

A sneering face filled the screen now. "Hope you got a good look, Monty, that's the last you'll ever see."

The screen went blank and Monty sighed. "The sacrifices I make for King and Country."

SG

A short time later the ships were alongside the planet Matalava. The Star Shrike's screen came back on, with Shego now in a large old shirt and capris. Her look was mocking and somewhat philosophical. "It's a sad day when your friends don't trust you."

Monty shook his head. "I was being thoughtful. Your ship is unarmed. Besides, there's no way you could have carried all the provisions I'm sending down to the surface."

He touched a button and Shego's view changed to the cargo bay where Commonwealth spacemen were loading skimmers with box after box. One set caught her attention. "Careful with those! So, 'Old Damnation' eh, Monty? Sure are pulling out all of the stops."

"You know the expense of space transport, Shego. If you want quantity you have to sacrifice quality. I could always send you cases of the finest, smoothest synthahol if you'd like. Can have it made up by the lab in an hour or so."

"What for? Just tell them not to bust any of the bust head."

The order was given and obeyed by human and Ruffite alike. The Commonwealth skimmers took their cargoes of food, fuel and alcohol down to the surface. When the last one was safely on board Monty contacted Shego.

"We'll be at the King's Port system. When you contact us you will use code. King's Port is 'Briar Patch'. I'm 'Big Bad Wolf'…"

"You mean you're not 'Monkey Man'?" Shego interrupted.

"'Big Bad Wolf'." Monty repeated. "Barkin here is 'Bo Peep' and you're…what was it again, Barkin."

"'Mother Goose', sir."

"That's it, 'Mother Goose'. Be sure to remember this, Shego, it's bloody important."

"Yeah, bloody." She shook her head and the screen went blank again.

Something about her attitude set Barkin's mind racing. "Sir, I'm willing to bet anything that the moment we leave she'll just…"

The Harbor Master seemed to not be paying attention. "We need to get underway, Barkin. Hard aport."

"You mean starboard, sir?"

"Hard aport, Lieutenant." Monty repeated.

The big man smiled. "Yes, sir! Coxswain, hard aport!"

SG

On board the Eckland Shego calmly entered coordinates into the navigational computer.

I take it we plan to leave momentarily, ma'am?

"What kind of a scoundrel do you take me for?" she asked with mock hurt in her voice. "I promised to watch his stars and I shall…as long as it takes me to load up the liquor. Just want to have everything ready for when do take off. This course should get us away from any unwelcomed attention."

I see. Very well… Sirens went off in the ship. The screen came on. BATES gave the electronic equivalent of a shout. The Shrike is turning into us!

The Commonwealth ship's gravimetic field pushed the Eckland toward Matalava. Shego screamed at the men on the screen. "Monty! Starboard! STARBOARD! You crazy son of a…"

Her curse was cut off when her ship hit Matalava's upper atmosphere. Old training and reflexes kept her from injury but the ship was not so lucky. First came a cracking sound, then the chilling whoosh of escaping atmosphere. Fortunately the second ended almost as soon as it began. Shego could only stare in horror at the gash in her ship.

"Sorry about that, Shego." Monty shrugged. "Computer glitch."

"Glitch my…" she shook a glowing fist at the screen. "If you didn't know how to steer that thing why didn't you say so?"

"Sorry." He repeated, even less sincerely this time. (Quite an accomplishment, really.)

"Look at my boat!" Shego protested. "I can't engage the gravimetrics: the hull would collapse! What am I going to do now?"

"Become a Star Watcher, I suspect." Monty replied. Behind him Barking surpassed a grin. "We'll make sure you get down safely."

That gave her no consolation. "Monty you…I'll sue! I'll sue you, I'll sue the Commonwealth, I'll sue the WAR!"

"You do that. I'll be your witness." He nodded. The woman ignored him as she went to suit up for a spacewalk to her skimmer. When she left her crippled ship he turned to Barkin.

"I can only hope my friendship with her won't prove to be a casualty of war."


	3. Settling IN

Chapter Two: Settling In

By expanding the skimmer's screens to their absolute limits, Shego brought the Eckland through Matalava's atmosphere without further damaging the hull. A beacon guided her to a cave behind a waterfall that concealed a landing dock. The blinking light on the communications console indicated an incoming message from Monty. She pressed a button that sent a canned reply. Once she had secured both ships she entered the stricken astrolaunch.

"BATES, you okay?"

The reply took two seconds too long. *Quite all right, ma'am. Sadly the same cannot be said for the ship. We are hulled. I'm afraid it will take some time to affect repairs.*

"How long?"

*Since I must match both the composition and density of the hull exactly to ensure a stable gravimetric field, it will take a month, perhaps more.*

"A month!" she snarled. "Great, just great!"

*I'm truly sorry, ma'am. If I had only been more careful. If I had only…*

"Expected treachery from my friend? Nah, if it's anybody's fault it's mine for thinking I had Monty conned." She allowed herself a rare moment of introspection. "We're too much alike. It's why we get along so well but aren't going anywhere."

*Let me apologize again, ma'am. The repairs will require my undivided attention. Ambient lighting and life support will work, but everything else will have to shut down.*

"It's okay, BATES. We're on a planet and Monty left a lot of supplies. Do what you have to."

*Thank you, ma'am. Should you need me press the 'help' button on the main console.*

The lights dimmed and the black haired woman shook her head. "Almost miss him."

She walked outside and looked up at the sky in the direction where she knew the Star Shrike should be. What she saw made her jaw drop. At the most she had expected to see a light in the sky. Instead the entire ship was visible. She could even see the muzzles of the fore and aft kinetic carronades. The ship turned and Shego could see the distortion from the gravimetric drive. Hoping they could see her, she flipped them off Commonwealth style.

When the ship vanished, Shego looked around. The terraformers had done their work very well. Under a slightly purple sky swayed palm, coconut and breadfruit trees, all modified to fit the environment. Like the seasoned traveler she was, Shego popped a metaboleze tablet so that her body could process any strange enzyme or amino acid she came across. _Tropical. Nice, Monty._

A trail, too faint to be seen from the air, led from the cave through the trees. It ended at a hut. Supplies were stacked all around it as Monty had promised. The smiled faded when a particular set of boxes eluded discovery. She stormed up the steps, only sharp reflexes saved her from falling when a rotted step broke under her slight weight. An equally rustic interior greeted her. On one wall were diagrams of Lowardian warcraft. The ether broadcaster sat on a table in front of the illustrations. As for the object of her search: nothing. With a growl she sat at the table and activated the ether's send button.

"King's Point, this is Shego."

Aboard his ship Monty went over to the communications console. "We aren't there yet and it's Briar Patch. Try to remember that, Mother Goose."

"I know you're not there yet. Now turn around and bring me my whiskey, Monty!"

"That's Big Bad Wolf. Really, Mother Goose, use the code."

"I don't care if you're Big Bad Wolf or Funky Monkey, I want my whiskey!"

"She…Mother Goose, I'm shocked that you could even suspect Commonwealth spacers of such larceny."

"Why not?" she snapped. "I know they're capable of violating astronav laws. I'm stuck here for at least a month."

The admission caused Monty to mute the receiver and grin at Barkin. "We bumped her just hard enough." He returned to his conversation. "The whiskey is on Matalava I assure you. I just thought we could have a little fun and games with it."

"Games." She repeated.

"Yes. My crew hid the bottles all over the planet, but the game isn't hide and seek. It's more performance oriented: perform the correct action and you receive a reward. "

"What's the game, Monty?"

"I assume you got a look at our ship. The Load Sensory Array will allow you to see any vessel that comes close to Matalava. Whenever you see enemy movement contact me. Upon confirmation you will receive the coordinates for a fifth. Call it a spot for a spot."

"Sounds stu…waitaminit. Think I see something." Shego looked up at the diagrams, but not outside. "Yeah, two Render Class headed your way. They may be following your gravimetric wake."

"Render Class?" Monty looked at Barkin. "You're sure, Shego?"

"Yep." Shego grinned. "You guys better high tail it. Just one of those could swallow you whole. Those ships have a crew of one. Don't know how you'd handle two Lorwardians."

On his ship Monty shook his head. "All right, Shego. I'll send you the coordinates…once your sighting has been confirmed by another Star Watcher. How many Renders did you see again?"

"Forget it." Shego grimaced. "Must have been a cloud. You guys need to check out that Load person, he might have ripped you off."

"I'll relay your concerns to Admiral Director. They will receive all due consideration. In the meantime keep your eyes open. Big Bad Wolf out."

Once Monty closed the channel Barkin spoke. "Even when she does make a legitimate sighting she might suffer from double vision."

The Harbor Master glared. "Shego's fully functional. We're fortunate to have her aboard. I've been out here for a while myself. Space can drive one to drink."

"Begging your pardon, sir, but courses at the Academy included Space Psychology. Whatever drives her to drink came with her."

SG

Back on Matalava, Shego reached a decision. _Time to get to work. _She gave the hut a closer look. Its construction was wholly organic, possibly from a survival exercise. Aside from the diagrams and ether set, the only modern items were a neuro-disruptor pistol and a pulse rifle. All featured ceramic and crystalline construction, exceedingly difficult to detect with long range scanners. _The set uses very little power and the warm water close by should hide it from observers. Bet you thought of that too, Monty. _

The job called for the proper gear and she had it aboard the Eckland. Soon she was stretched out on a blanket under a palm tree, getting sunlight without being in the open. The black one piece was surprisingly modest. Lens cut from a blaster screen allowed her to look directly at the sun if she wanted. A little sun block and she was on the clock.

_Hey._

She ran back to the hut, leaping over the broken step. "King's Point, this is Shego. Come in!"

SG

Now at King's Point proper Monty answered. "Monty…I mean, Big Bad Wolf here. Come in, Mother Goose."

"Mother Goose here. Got something for you, Big Bad."

The Harbor Master muted his transmitter. "She's using code. It must be serious."

"The DTs are." Barkin replied. Monty ignored him and reengaged his transmitter.

"All right, Mother Goose, what do you see?"

"A Reaver Class just crossed the sun."

"A Reaver." Since he could not be seen by her Monty did not try to hide his concern. "If this is a call for extraction I have no assets in the area."

"Not worried about me. If it were coming this way it wouldn't be crossing the sun. It must be getting ready to bootstrap."

"I'll have to confirm it."

"Just be ready. Reavers are equipped for planetary invasions. A few laps around the sun to pick up speed and it could be on top of you."

Monty knew Shego too well to argue. He looked over at Barkin, who had gone over to another station.

"I've already sent a message to our other watchers in the system, sir." The Unity Marine said. "Sir! Confirmation!"

"Thanks, Mother Goose. I'll send your intelligence to the Ad…the Wicked Witch." A smile crossed Monty's face. _An apt handle._

At her end Shego moved on to the next item on the agenda. "Okay, Monty, we've played the games, now it's time for the fun."

"Do you have anything to write with?"

She lit up a finger over a board on the table. "Shoot."

"Standard coordinates: 127A62G. A set of flag stones by a pond. It's under the center mottled one. Our thanks again. Do keep in touch."

"Maybe in a couple of days." The spot was on the other side of the island, hardly worth using the skimmer. Her prize lay buried in the mud under the flag stone. Out of curiosity she washed the bottle off in the pond and watched the water. Nothing floated to the top, the seal was still good. Barkin would have been shocked to know that she waited until the skimmer was safely docked again before she uncapped it. The sentiment behind the toast, however, would have come as no surprise to him.

"Hello, Blackout, my old friend."

SG

The morning found Shego still in the skimmer and only a little worse for wear. Commonwealth rations had a number of good hangover breakfasts so she went to the hut for one. Of course the half-empty bottle stayed with her, providing some very effective hair of the dog. By the afternoon, she was back at work, a least by her standards. By the next afternoon, Monty was giving out another set of coordinates.

As things turned out, Star Watching actually agreed with Shego. Sitting on a blanket, toasting in the sun, taking the occasional swig from the ever present bottle, what was not to like? Spotting a ship meant another bottle and the imagined look on Monty's face when he rubbed her effectiveness in Barkin's face.

_This is what duty should be like._

Then one day, three weeks after her answering the Commonwealth's 'call' to duty, the ether woke her up. "Mother Goose, this is Briar Patch, come in, Mother Goose."

Shego yawned. "Monty, what gives? What do you want? You know what time it is here?"

"In terms of daylight, no." her friend answered. "But this can't wait. I've got good news for you. We've found a replacement."

The news woke Shego up. "Great!"

"There's a slight problem." Monty said. "It's why I'm calling you now. The Lowardians are consolidating their hold on the other side of your solar system. Your replacement needs extraction from the moon of the third gas giant, a planet called Beck."

"Let me guess who gets to do it." She muttered.

"Would you? That would be lovely. I'm afraid we don't have any ships available."

"I don't have a ship either, if you remember, just a skimmer."

"You've lived and worked out of that skimmer for years. It's just a short trip for someone like you. Solar winds are up and will interfere with Lorwardian scanners. Just pick Xavier up and bring him to Matalava and you can leave the instant your astrolaunch is ready."

"Xavier?"

"Xavier Spendable, nice chap. He's more than willing to take you place, stay in the fight and all that."

"Sounds good, but you owe me something else, Monty."

"What would that be? Surely you know the Star Watchers are a voluntary service."

"Not talking about money. I know how cheap the Commonwealth is, how many times was I in your office? I'm talking about the whiskey. I want all of it now."

"Of course I'll send you the coordinates for additional bottles…"

"ALL of them, Monty."

Monty sighed. "Agreed. Barkin, hand me the list. I assume you're ready for this, Shego."

"You know it."

He read them quickly and clearly, sure of Shego's ability to keep up. "There, enough to keep you for some time. Is there anything else?"

"Come to think of it, when I get to King's Point we could meet. There's this back alley…"

"That hardly sounds like the place for an officer of the Commonwealth." His voice dropped. "Would a Unity Marine do?"

"For what I'm thinking of, yeah."

"It's settled then." He grinned at Barkin. "Looks like you'll handle the preliminary debriefing, lieutenant."

"Just tell me where and when." The big man saluted.

"Don't worry. You'll get it when the time comes." Monty turned back to the ether.

"Good luck, Shego."

Kim Possible and related characters are the property of Walt Disney.

Father Goose was released in 1964 by Republic Pictures.

Pass Me By, from the movie, was written by Carollyn Leigh with music by Cy Coleman.


	4. Encounters

Chapter Three: Encounters

Shego actually left Matalava during the day. She deemed the Lorwardians more likely to spot the skimmer's rocket flash when achieving escape velocity than its vapor trail. Once in space she took a meandering course, hiding behind one hunk of rock after another. Each such move boosted her gravimetics as well. Any Lorwardian would find her a difficult quarry to bring down.

She sat at the skimmer's controls. The right hand manipulated the buttons and switches as needed. Her left hand had its own particularly vital duty: holding the neck of a bottle of Old Damnation. From time to time she took a swig. _Nothing better for handling changes in acceleration._

Within a few hours the gas giant Beck hove into view. Shego scanned the swirling face until she found what she was looking for. "Third Moon: Gold Bug."

Another swig and she plunged into the planet's gravity. The computer beeped when the scanners located her goal. Gold Bug had just enough atmosphere to slow the skimmer down without the use of retro rockets. Expert eyes picked out where the old tracking lights had been painstakingly removed. The place was so old that its bay doors were literally doors. They opened to let her in.

The skimmer looked lost in a bay big enough to hold a full sized star liner. She secured the skimmer and looked around. _Not here. Must be hiding in the station: probably in the ether room. _For the second time this month she was back in her old green and black. The stun pistol rested in her calf pouch while she cradled the pulse rifle in her hands.

"Let's see: two entrances. Living quarters are down the right one." A short way in and she came upon a massive cave in. The debris reached all the way up to a dangerously weakened ceiling. In front of it was a much smaller, regular pile of rocks. A tile rested on top, decorated with a Unity star burst. _Not bad, if a little childish._

"Left it is then." She went back out to the bay area and walked over to the other entrance. Shipwreck stations like this put everything in a semicircular hallway, so if a ship docked and later exploded the force would be vented back out into the bay and from there into space. This being a big station meant that she had a good walk ahead of her.

Shego passed hospital rooms, machine shops and hydroponic gardens, but saw no sign of Spendable. From time to time she whispered his name, but got no response. The top of the horseshoe was just ahead and with it the ether room. It was the most strongly built place in the station. _He would have_ _gone here…_

Whatever had collapsed the ceiling had also played havoc with the lighting. Shgeo's vision found the erratic illumination taxing and the woman had no interest in being taxed, literally or figuratively. Part of her resolved to give Spendable a real tongue lashing when she found him; the other part wanted to give him a good swift kick to the butt. Nothing too hard, mind you, he might be able to help repair the Eckland.

She crept into the large communications room, cursing the near total darkness. A noise made her crouch. Before she could whisper 'Spendable' her gun was kicked out of her hands. Old instincts took over and she pulled her head back before a second foot could make contact with her jaw. Her opponent jumped back and avoided her kick. Shego launched herself forward in an attempt to seize the initiative. Unfortunately, her enemy had the same idea.

They met in the center of the floor. In all her years Shego had never faced anyone this quick. From the sounds, Shego knew she was facing a female. _How soon do they start? _She wondered when she realized she was aiming her punches far too high. Luckily, young Lorwardians appeared to spar adults as her opponent was also threw her strikes over Shego's head. Her adjustment came a moment too late, a kick sent the Goworlder tumbling.

She sprang up with hands blazing. _Time to fry, small fry. _The shadowy opponent gasped in surprise, bringing a fierce grin to the pale woman's face. Green fire lashed out, but figure sprang away at the last moment. Bolt after bolt of plasma left Shego's hands, but all for naught. Sometimes the Lorwardian landed on her hands, other times she touched down ever so lightly with her feet, but she never stayed still long enough for Shego to draw a bead on her.

Determined to end this, Shego advanced, driving her enemy toward a corner of the room. Plasma formed in a ball between her hands. This time she would use a concussive force in an area attack. _Forget Spendable, if I can tell Monty I've got a prisoner, he'll send a ship big enough to carry me and my boat. _Unfortunately, no one told the Lorwardian about her need to stand still for the big one. She ran up one wall, jumped onto the next and propelled herself at Shego. Both feet landed squarely in the woman's chest and she went sprawling across the floor.

Sometimes in a fight, taking a hit can be a good thing. Shego threw herself into the roll, putting distance between herself and her opponent. Another reward presented itself when her hand wrapped around the stock of her pulse rifle. The rifle could sustain a higher rate of fire than her plasma. Spinning up, gun in hand, she saw her enemy dive behind a desk. Leveling the gun, she stalked over.

"Come out," she ordered.

The being on the other side popped up, holding the exact same model pulse rifle. She was human. By the rounded face Shego could tell she was just out of her teens, peaches and cream complexion bespoke of good diet and exercise, as surely as the recent fight gave evidence of considerable training and conditioning. That she had fought Shego to a standstill in a powder blue skirt and blouse with a pure white shirt made things that much more impressive. The red hair was drawn up in a very businesslike bun. Her attention returned to the face. There was earnestness about her, a sort of got-to-save-the-day personality. _Bet that was her answer to 'what do you want to do?' question in the Miss Whatever World pageant she was in. _It was just the sort of mindset that had driven Shego to seek solitude in the void.

"Who are you?" Shego demanded.

The young woman started, coming out of some reverie of her own. "I…I asked you first."

Deeming there was no time to argue, Shego went on to a more important question. "Where's Spendable?"

"Who?" the stranger asked.

"Spendable. Xavier Spendable. The man who was here."

"That was his name? Ferociously appropriate." The young woman shook her head. "I buried him. He died in the cave in. Must've been caused by the Lorwardians, their walkers are all over the planet's surface."

"They're here? How do you know?"

The stranger seemed much less concerned about this than Shego was. "I've seen them. There's an observation post that lets you look over the surface. I can take you to it."

"Why would I want to do that?" Shego frowned. _Just what I need: a gung-ho little Priss Miss. _"We'd better get out of here then."

The red head nodded and came out from behind the desk. Once they reached the door she, picked up a travel case and then did something unexpected: she looked down the right corridor and called out, quietly but clearly. "We're going."

She turned to the left corridor and began walking to the dock. Shego stood in the door and gawked. A girl walked by with a travel case, her almost pasty white face framed by jet black hair that reached down to her shoulders. Startlingly bright green eyes locked into hers with feline intensity. And like a cat, it was clear that she was not impressed.

Before she could recover from the shock of a child, she was hit again, this time double. Two girls stopped to look at her. One was dark haired, the other red headed. By the way they held hands she knew they were sisters, probably twins. After a heart beat they went on.

Another pale girl walked by, this one with a greenish undertone to her skin. She had black hair with a striking shock of red hair framing her face. This one favored her with a smile.

The next(!) redhead also favored her with a grin. One could not miss the impishness.

Soon another little girl walked by. Unlike the others, she had dark green skin under her black hair. When she looked up shyly, Shego could see that she had one green eye, and one brown one.

An older boy brought up the rear. His wild hair was either the result of styling or indicated another humanoid variant. After looking at the black talons on his hands Shego opted for the latter. He gave her a close look. Satisfied that she was no threat, he went on.

It took a few minutes for the shock to wear off. The column had already gone around the bend by the time Shego started after them. She hurried past the children to talk to the woman leading them. "Listen, Ms…"

"Possible. Kim Possible," the redhead replied. " And the children are, in order, Agni, Kasy and Sheki, Shin, Jane, Alexandra and Drago."

Shego retained enough manners to nod her head. "Pleased to meet you. Name's Shego. If I may be so forward, just what are you doing with children in a war zone?"

"Trying to get out of it," Kim answered. "They were attending Space Camp on Midworld. I was home from college on break, and helping Dad set everything up. When the fighting started, we evacuated the Space Center. We hitched a ride on a Unity Catalina bound for the Core. When we hit this system, the pilot got a message to go help rescue the crew of a crippled Commonwealth frigate. He set us down here and said he'd be back, but that was twelve hours ago."

_Even if he made it, it could be days before he could get back. _She could not argue with Kim's next statement.

"It's a good thing you showed up."

They reached the dock. Kim went straight for the mooring station when lights indicated one was in use. She peered into the dark. "Where is it? Do you have a cloaking device? That would be spankin'."

"If you trip, you'd fall on top of it." Shego walked over and touched a button. As per her normal practice, she had let the skimmer sink below dock level, out of view of potentially unfriendly eyes. The ship floated up, and Kim's face fell.

"Oh, dear. Well, anything's possible and all that. Come on, kids."

"Hey, waitaminit," Angi objected. "We're going to fit nine people in a skimmer?"

"Why not? Look at the retrofit to the rocket. I'd say she's increased her engine's lift and thrust by a factor of at least five."

Shego joined the conversation. "The kid's right. It's not a matter of power; it's a question of air. Skimmer's don't have the most advanced oxygen reclamation units. And don't forget all the air that nine people will displace. We just might suffocate even if the Lorwardians don't get us."

Kim folded her arms across her chest. "All right, then. Which ones do you suggest we leave behind?"

The question caused Shego to look at the children. Their somber faces were affecting (and strangely familiar in some way) did she have a choice? "It's still a crazy idea."

"Would it help if I stayed behind?" Kim asked sharply.

Shego's response was equally tart. "It would."

The younger woman was taken aback for a moment. "I see. All right, then, all aboard." Kim looked in the cabin when the door opened. "Alexandra, you go to the back by the controls…"

"Princess, this is my boat. If anyone's going to fatally overload it, it's me," Shego picked up Alexandra and set her in the ship. "Sit by the steering."

Once the little girl took her seat, Shego took her travel case, brought it out and threw it into darkness. "Why did you do that?" Kim demanded.

"We're running things too close without displacing more air."

"Still think it's a dumb idea." Agni muttered. "I don't want to go."

"Tough," Shego grabbed the girl's bag, threw it over and all but tossed her into the skimmer. With the balker taken care of, Shego turned to the remaining children. Kasy and Sheki just stood there, staring.

"Well, what's the matter?"

"Kasy and Sheki are Carcosan," Kim said. "They don't speak Galactic."

Shego shrugged. "Lots of people don't, they use universal translators. Don't their people have them?"

Kim nodded. "Yes, but only the males use them."

"Why, patriarchal nonsense? Cultural idiocy?"

"Not exactly. But trust me, you wouldn't use one either. Where do you want them to go? I speak Carcosan."

"Over there."

The redhead nodded and knitted her brows in concentration. She took a deep breath, and in a clear, authoritative voice, called out. "Meap."

"Meap," the girls nodded. They threw their travel cases over the side and went into the skimmer to sit at their designated spots.

"Really?" the dark haired woman blinked. "They got all of that from….meap?"

"Carcosan is a very sophisticated language," the ginger replied. "It's all about inflection."

The boy rummaged through his things. He held up a small container. "My hygiene kit: Halberd. It'll make me irresistible to females of an appropriate age."

"Sure. Whatever," At the Goworlder's shrug, the boy pushed his other things over the side and got in.

Shin walked in and sat down, giving Shego a thumbs up. Shego took the last girl, Jane, and put her in her seat. The small child spoke up.

"Don't forget Helen."

"What?" Shego puzzled.

"Don't forget Helen." Jane repeated.

"I'm sorry," Kim apologized. "She's just so quiet that I forget she's here. Shego, could you help Helen?"

_Oh, invisible friend. _Ready to get under way, Shego reached out as if the take a child under the arms. Jane laughed.

"No, silly. Helen's not a little kid, she's a young lady. Just take her hand."

"Sorry." Shego said. She held out a hand and pretended to help a lady aboard. Once done, she rubbed her strangely prickly hand.

Once the children were seated, Kim went over to the mooring console. "Scanners indicate the area's clear. You better take off now."

"What are you doing?" Shego demanded.

"Staying behind," Kim looked thoughtful. "There are some heavy duty repair suits in the lockers. Almost as good as light armor. Maybe there's something in the supply room that could help this gun take out a walker or two. I'll get their attention: buy you some time."

Aside from extended sobriety, nothing annoyed Shego more than nobility, be it natural, faux, or, worst of all, genuine. "Get aboard."

"But you said…"

"Pumpkin, if by some miracle we make it back to Matalava, I'd be stuck with them. Now come on."

The logic was infallible. Once she set the moorings for a timed release, Kim tossed her bag over the side, along with the pulse rifle. It went just beyond Shego's desperate grasp.

"We would've had a use for that!" Shego glared.

"Sorry, you should have said something."

"Gun. War. Thought it was obvious," the Goworlder sighed. "Come on, we're losing Beck's shadow."

With that Kim climbed over the children and to her seat at the bow. The skimmer's door closed, and the ship left the dock. Before it reached the bay doors, the ship's computer realized the much greater oxygen consumption, and rerouted power to bolster the atmospheric unit. The cabin lights dimmed.

"We're losing power!" Shin gasped.

"Stupid crate…we're gonna die!" Agni snarled.

"It's just the ship's response," Shego harrumphed. "If any of you had spent time on anything other than luxury liners and private yachts you'd know that. Everybody, be quiet. If the Lorwardians hear you; they hunt alien adults, but they eat children."

Blessed silence fell. (Even the older children failed to challenge Shego's bad science.) Kim did feel the need to correct one inaccuracy. "Lorwardians aren't cannibals, especially where children are concerned. They will hunt adults, but children tend to become pets."

"At least until they're old enough to become prey." Shego could not resist. "All of you keep quiet anyway. I've got to navigate."

They threaded their way past Beck's satellites, picking up speed with each bootstrap. Dry work, but Shego had a solution behind her chair. The bottle tilted back, pouring sweet liquid forgetfulness down her throat.

"Drink in front of kids much?" Kim asked sharply.

The navigator answered before taking another pull. "What are you, some kind of religious fanatic?"

"So not. You can do whatever you want to yourself when you're by yourself. And don't you need to be sober to navigate?"

"Don't you know? When you use a medicine properly, the side effects aren't there. Keeps me level, actually. Don't have any fancy smancy meds for gravimetric stress. How're the kids where that's concerned?"

"Usually they're on bigger ships." Kim glanced around nervously, looking for signs of space sickness.

"They'll be fine. We've finished the hard part: picking up speed without attracting attention. It's a straight shot for now, and then we'll make a gentle turn into Matalava's gravity well. Anyone seeing us then will think we're a meteor."

"Clever," The newcomer conceded.

"You better believe, Princess." Shego settled back. She was about to take another swig when Drago called from the bow.

"Something's coming toward us."

The skimmer had fairly large view slits, but Shego had the protective screens down most of the way. While it made the ship less visible, it also great reduced her vision. She took a long look and cursed under her breath.

"Ships!" she hissed.

"Two of them," Drago added. "I can't believe I just saw one."

"It's not that easy when the sensors are down," Shego said.

"Why are you running blind?" Agni asked.

"Not blind, silent," Shego answered. "Sensors make all kinds of electronic noise, especially on the sensory arrays of warships."

Jane nodded. "Helen says that it's the same as when ships put out their lamps at night during war when she was alive. That was a long time ago."

"Yeah, right," the black haired pilot said tensely. "Everybody, be quiet."

"Why, you can't hear anything in space," Shin wondered.

"Look, they aren't using sensors on full or they'd know we're a ship. But if they have them on and you kids make a lot of chatter the vibrations will show up. An asteroid this small wouldn't have seismic activity," The captain said.

"They could be ours," Kim said hopefully.

"Want to risk the kids in finding out?" Shego asked. "Everyone just be quiet."

She looked at Alexandra. "At least she knows when to be quiet."

"She hasn't said a word since the attack," Kim said.

"Meap," Kasy added.

"And I appreciate how you and Sheki have tried to engage her," the Midworlder answered. "Oops, I mean, meap."

"Everyone shut up!" Shego's near shout brought silence to the skimmer.

They all held their breath and peered out of the view slits on either side of the skimmer. The ships moved along smoothly. At the distance, Shego could not make out their type, and dared not hail them. _Lorwardians are landing on Beck, no reason to believe those are ours. _

Just as the ships began to pass by the skimmer their engines shimmered. Shego took in a sharp breath. "Oh,…"

"Don't you say it!" Kim warned. "And what's wrong anyway?"

"They just fired up their gravimetrics! And we're right in the…"

The skimmer bucked and rolled in the stellar equivalent of a backwash. Children screamed. "Just hold on!" Shego shouted. She reached for the controls, deciding that a gentle counter would be missed by ships that were rapidly accelerating. Something had hold of her arm. Alexandra was looking up at her.

"Let go, I need my hand," Shego snarled.

The pleading face changed. Alexandra bent over and bit Shego's gloved hand. Hard.

"Argh!" the Goworlder pulled her hand back and punched the button. The skimmer stabilized. Calm returned to the cabin.

"Are you all right, Alexandra?" Kim asked.

"Alexandra? She wasn't the one who was bitten," Shego snapped.

"Of course not," Kim sniffed, "she wasn't the one who deserved it.

Kim Possible and related characters are the property of Walt Disney

The children are on loan from the following authors. I fully apologize for any failures in my portrayals.

Alexandra and Shin are from Blackbird.

Kasy and Sheki come from King in Yellow, and are the original creation of NoDrogs. Jane and Helen (don't forget Helen!) are the Carcosan's alone.

Drago is the creation of Deaku.

Agni comes from Trackula.

And thanks are due, as always, to by faithful beta, Brother Bludgeon.


	5. Acclimation

Chapter Four: Acclimation

A few hours after their encounter with the ships, they made it to Matalava. They arrived tired, bedraggled, and smelling faintly of space sickness.

Upon landing, Shego locked the skimmer's controls and climbed over the others to get out. The children were so tired and strung out from the journey that they barely moved. Their minder's protests were ignored. After mooring the skimmer, Shego left the cave and stalked up the trail. Halfway to her destination, she could hear footsteps behind her. She could also feel lasers being stared into her back. Ignoring them gave her pleasure.

She sprang lightly over the broken step and went over to the ether set. Her 'angry' finger activated the device. "Kingsport, this is Shego. Monty, Barkin, come in."

At Kingsport, Lt. Barkin smiled at the transmitter. "Mother Goose, is that you?"

Monty immediately took over. "Shego, I can't tell you how delighted I am…"

"You've Mother Goosed me for the last time!" Shego snarled.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid with me. You'd sell out your father if you knew who he was."

"Trust me, I know his identity." Monty sighed. Before the former Harbor Master could say another word, Shego heard the sound of a board breaking on the porch. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Drago and Agni helping Kim pull her leg out of the hole. The older woman laughed before returning to the ether.

"Monty, get them off!"

"Get who off?" the man asked in confusion.

"You know who. Get them off!"

"No he doesn't," Kim answered. "The Catalina was under strict ether silence and the set at the station was destroyed. Nobody knew we were there."

"Would you stay out of this, lady?" Shego said.

"I'm only trying to help."

"I can handle this."

"I'm hungry," Shin said. The plea started an avalanche of requests from the children, for food, water, rest, home.

On his end, Monty could only ask. "Shego, what…who…SHEGO!"

Everyone on Matalava stopped and looked at the ether set. Monty spoke again. "Thank you. Now, who's there?"

Kim took the ether mic from Shego. "Who is this?"

"Commander Montgomery Fiske of the Commonwealth Deep Space Force and you are?"

"Kim Possible. My father is Head of Propulsion Studies at the Midworld Space Center. My mother is Chief of Neurosurgery for the Midworld Medical Complex."

"I heard children," Monty prompted.

"I have seven children here from the Space Center's annual Rocket Booster Camp. We evacuated them when the Lorwardians began their attack. They are from Carcosa, Austen, Deaku, Divesdives and Trackula. We were trying to get to the Core Systems."

"Where is Spendable?"

"I'm sorry, sir. The Lorwardians attacked the station. He didn't make it."

"Sorry to hear that."

"When can you get us out of here?" Kim's question perked up Shego's ears.

"That may be a problem," Monty said. "You will need to be patient."

"Forget her patience, what about mine?" Shego shouted into the mic. "GET THEM OFF!"

"I'll take it to the top. Please stand by."

Shego looked up at Kim. "He said stand by." Unable to do anything else, Kim walked over to an overturned crate and sat down with her arms crossed, glaring at Shego. The children had calmed down for the moment. With nothing else to do, Shego picked up a bottle and took a long, long drink. She looked to see the children staring at her.

"If you're waiting for the big finale I'm sorry, this is all I do." Another shot of burning relief and Shego was ready for the next course. She picked a meal packet and heated it with her plasma, careful that no one saw her glow. _Commonwealth chem packs mess with the flavors._ She took off her glove and opened the corner of the meal, a little too soon. Steam poured out, along with a little scalding liquid.

"Argh! Son of a…"

"Shego, please!" Kim said sternly. The children laughed as Shego sucked on the red spot on her hand. They returned to quiet stares when Shego began eating.

Kim spoke in a quiet tone. "We could all do with some food."

"Whatever." It was not much in the way of permission, but Kim took it.

"Get some meals out of that box, Jane. Drago, those boards must make up the table. You and Shin get them down. Let's see, utensils are in the meals, collapsible cups…ah, over there. Get those, Alexandra. Shego, where are the napkins and place mats?"

"Napkins and place mats? Next to the finger bowls." Shego snorted.

Kim next turned to Kasy and Sheki. "Meap."

"Meap," they answered. Shego's derision turned into alarm when each twin picked up a bottle.

"Hey!" she took them from the girls, who addressed Kim in their own unique idiom. The redhead nodded.

"They're right. We need something to sterilize the water, unless you have a filtration unit."

"It's built into the pump. Just turn the top ring. I'll take those," Shego carefully set them back with their comrades.

"Someone else must have put it there," Kim sniffed. "You don't seem to care much about clean water."

"Look who's talking. I know your kind: bet you use a soniclean so you won't get water on that stick you've got shoved up your…"

A light tug at her sleeve brought Shego up short. Agni and Jane were looking up at her.

"Do you have any berries?" Jane asked hopefully.

"Did you find any?"

Jane shook her head. "We looked in all the boxes. Helen even checked the bottom of each one. That way we didn't have to dig."

"Bet she's hidden them." Agni muttered.

"Look, kid, I was all by myself. Why would I hide anything?" _Habit. You never leave all your goodies in one place, especially where food is concerned. _The two girls joined the others at the table.

Shego watched Kim and the children eat. The redhead ate and talked with each child, all the while entering data on a pad. Most of the time, she spoke standard Galactic, though from time to time she used words and phrases from the children's various home worlds. With the Carcosans, she spoke their peculiar language. Apparently it was a language given to much humor, at least Kasi and Sheki giggled often.

They were putting things away when Monty's voice came over the ether again. "Are you there, Shego?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing to listen in. "What have you worked out, Monty?" Shego asked.

"A supply drop."

"A supply drop?" Shego was confused. "They need to be picked up, not put down!"

"That may be a bit of a problem," Monty said.

"Well, what's making the drop? Can't it pick them up?"

"It's more than a matter of having a ship; it's having the right ship. Right now our assets are stretched past the breaking point. I just don't have the ability to pick them up, not until we get reinforcements. Until then you'll all just have to make do."

"How long, Monty?"

Even though he was lights years away, the man swallowed before he spoke. "Three weeks."

"THREE WEEKS!"

"Maybe more."

"MORE!"

"We could be here a month?" Shin groaned.

"Here with her," Agni pointed at Shego. "I don't wanna stay."

"Who does?" Kim walked over to the ether again. "Commander. Could you please convey to my parents that I'm all right? I'm entering the names of the children in code so that you can inform their families that they made it off of Midworld."

"Midworld is being evacuated, but I'll see to it that everyone's parents are told."

"Please and thank you."

Shego frowned. "Well, Monty, you've done it to me again. You used to at least kiss me first."

"Sorry, Shego, there's a war on."

"Stop saying that!"

"Signing off," with that the ether went dead.

After the silence sank in, Kim turned to the children. "Why don't you guys go out and take a look around."

"Tell them to stay out of sight. Off the beach and out of the open," the girls looked at Shego, and then at Kim, who nodded at Shego's advice. They left.

The red head sighed. "Looks like we're going to be here a while, Shego. We need to set up some ground rules."

Shego took off her boots and calf holster. "Okay, shoot."

"First of all, we may not like each other…"

"That's an understatement."

"Whatever," Kim continued. "I'm sure that you agree that the kids have to be priority number one."

"Your priority, not mine," the Goworlder reached up to her left shoulder and touched the corner where green met black.

The Midworlder's brows knotted in vexation. "Whatever your damage, as an adult you'd agree with me: the children come first. They've had a rough week and things aren't going to get easier any time soon. They're isolated from their families and friends, lost on a strange world in the middle of a war zone; they're in a delicate state."

"Skimmer has some packing material if you wanna swaddle them," Shego slid her finger down the seam of her cat suit and it began to open.

"We're not talking about swaddling. It's about providing support, boundaries, examples. I've been their main provider the last week. Now you've stepped in as a protector, a savior. If you've paid attention, you've seen the way Drago looks at you. For want of a better term, you've become a sort of father figure."

This made Shego shake her head. "Look, Pumpkin, I don't want to be a father figure, a mother figure, or a crazy aunt with a house full of cats figure. All I plan to be is an out-of-sight-out-of-mind figure. I figure I stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine."

"You're on an isolated world, on what I imagine is an island. You aren't one yourself."

"No man is an island. I'm a little more autonomous," Finished with her seam, Shego began to shed her cat suit.

"What are you doing?" Kim started.

Shego was shrugged. "Getting ready for bed. Don't you undress? No, after a long day of putting fig leafs on statues, you wouldn't risk flashing an ankle." She stood in a set of black underwear. The top looked like a sports bra, but its reinforced structure enabled it to fight decompression, high gs and absorb physical shock. Had she not been wearing it, Kim's double kick would have at least have left her stunned and breathless. Right now, it provided Shego with a possible weapon. She reached for the bottom as if to pull up off. Kim blushed.

"What's the matter, Princess? We're both humanoid. I don't have anything you don't have, except maybe a sense of fun."

The redhead shook her head. "What, do you expect me to run? As if! Now, let me repeat myself since I don't know how clear your head is, my concern is for the children."

"Then go concern yourself with them. Let me get some sleep."

"As soon as you tell me where we'll be staying."

"There's a whole world here. Suit yourself. I imagine the other hemisphere would work out really well for me."

"But this hut is the only shelter, and it's too small for us all to fit."

"The cave's big. Be a safe place for you to keep them. You can even use the skimmer for sleeping quarters. Just stay out of the astrolauch, it's being repaired."

"That skimmer has even less room than this place, and if anything is even messier."

"Clean it, Ms. Spic N Span. It's got tools; you can use them to make your own shelter."

"Out of what?" Kim asked.

"Anything you can find." Shego flopped onto her cot and rolled over.

"Fine." Kim looked thoughtful, and then walked out with purpose.

Shego fell into a sleep that was as delightful as it was short. Something slammed into the side of the hut. She fell out of the bed and lit her hands out of instinct. Tools against wood raised a cacophony outside. Pulling her blanket around her, she hurried outside to see what was going on.

Agni stood banging a plank with a coconut. Kasy and Sheki employed a lever and fulcrum in an effort to take up the front step. Jane and Alexandra beat on boards with hammer and chisel; the smallest girl gave Shego a warning look, showing her teeth. Kim stood watching.

"What's the meaning of this?" Shego demanded.

Kim smiled. "Cave's too damp for the kids, especially Kasy and Sheki, so we're building our own shelter out of what we can find. We've even borrowed some tools from the skimmer, thanks, by the way."

Just then Shin and Drago came up the path, carrying something in their arms. "We've got it, and it's fully charged." Shin grinned.

Kim returned the grin. "Spankin'! Ready?"

"Just tell me the target," Drago sighted the device.

"Keep a tight focus. We need the roof intact."

Shego almost dropped her blanket in alarm. "No! What are you…crazy? You can't use a grav-lifter on a hut! Not unless you're out to make kindling!"

"Just using the tools and materials available," the redhead's smile was maddening.

"All right, all right," Shego reached down and picked up the door stop. The intact seal and heft told her the bottle was full. With as much dignity as she could muster, she made her way down the steps. She stopped in front of Kim.

"Lady, you're making a powerful enemy."

GTS/FB

A few hours later Kim slipped into the cave. First she went to the skimmer, emerging with some bedding. She padded over to the astrolaunch. Ambient lighting greeted her. A quick scan revealed no active security devices. Another look and she could see no trip wires or alarms that Shego could have set up manually. The older woman lay in an open sleep chamber. Kim went over and opened the drawer under it. Luxury sheets and blankets were the reward. The other sleep chambers yielded a similar booty. She looked at the one Shego was using, but decided to be generous. Besides, drunk or not, she did not know how light a sleeper the brunette was.

Dreamless sleep had proven to be just what the doctor ordered. When she opened her eyes, Shego felt a little better. _Still have this, and it's actually more comfortable than the hut. _A beeping came from outside the ship. She had installed a scan drone just inside the waterfall to watch the Load Array. (As it was not interfaced with the system, it would not give it away.) This allowed her to do her job while she worked on the ships in the cave. Something was coming over. Even if she no longer had a liquid reward awaiting her, some vague sense of duty prompted her to go out for a look.

"Lowardian, all right," she put on some clothes and made her way back down the path. She stopped short at the hut. Laundry hung on lines, and everywhere were signs of repair work. A box stood in position to replace the broken step. Shego opened the door.

"Hey!" Drago shouted, pulling a blanket up around him. Shego jumped back.

"Would it kill you to knock first?" Kim chided from inside. "We have Drago up front because he's the only boy and the oldest."

"I need to use the ether," Shego shouted.

"Okay, come in," Kim called. Drago had his blanket around him. A sheet made a partition between his area and the one for the girls. They also huddled under blankets, staring at the woman. Shego looked around, trying not to admire the neatness of the hut, all the clutter was gone, but so was something else. She opened the stove, looked behind the cot and makeshift beds.

"Looking for something?" Kim asked.

"My whiskey," Shego answered.

"You wouldn't stop drinking in front of the children."

"Where is it?"

"Someplace you'll never look," Kim's answer made Shego's blood boil. She went to the cabinet, where Alexandra had a sleeping pallet on top. _Can't open the door…_ "C'mon, kid, move." When the girl just looked at her, Shego stuck a finger in her face. "Look…"

The girl bit the offending digit. Still, she moved back enough for Shego to throw open the doors. Nothing. "Later," Shego said darkly.

She grabbed the ether. "Kingsport, this is Shego,"

On the other end Barkin picked up the receiver. "Brair Patch here, come in, Mother Goose."

"Get Monty!"

"Big Bad Wolf is engaged."

"I don't care if he's married, get him!" While she waited, she glared at Kim. "You know, I think the old Temperance Union still has an active headquarters on Earth, you might want to look into that."

The ether interrupted. "What is it, Shego?" Monty asked.

"Monty, this is a military zone and you're in command tell Miss Goody Two Shoes here to get off of my back!"

"Goody Two Shoes?" Monty wondered.

"Yes! You tell her. Tell her she's a pain in the…"

"Please, Shego, be civil."

"Civil?" Shego was incredulous. "Who kicked who out of whose house? Who stole whose liquor? Who bit whose hand…twice!"

"Bit you?" Monty asked'

"Yes!"

"Ms. Possible?"

"No. Tell her to give me back my booze. Tell her to butt out. Tell her to leave me alone."

"All right, I'll talk to her," Shego nodded in satisfaction, and handed Kim the mic.

"Yes?" the redhead spoke.

Monty took a deep breath and sat down. "Ms. Possible, I'm sure you've noticed Shego is not the most sociable sort…"

Kim had her own evaluation. "Shego is a rude, foul-mouth, drunken filthy beast…"

"Be that as it may…" this time Shego interrupted Monty. She grabbed the mic.

"This is the Filthy Beast speaking. Monty, when you send those supplies, send plenty of whiskey!"

Kim grabbed the mic back. "So not going to happen, Commander."

"Quiet, both of you," Monty sat back. "We've arranged for the supply drop to happen tomorrow night, your time. I suggest that if you want anything specific, you give me a list of your needs."

"Whiskey!" Shego shouted.

Monty's lip curled. "I know what you want, Shego. What about Ms. Possible and the children?"

As the ether was turned to speaker, the children heard the last bit and bombarded the air with requests for all manner of things. Kim raised her hand for silence. "I have prepared a list…"

Shego grabbed it from her. "Hold it. You've taken everything else, but the ether is my responsibility," She cleared her throat. "Seven nighties."

"What was that, Shego?"

Shego flipped the tablet back to Kim and walked out.

"Would you repeat that, Shego?"

"Shego is no longer here," Kim said. "Seven nighties."

"Nighties?" Monty asked.

"Yes, starting with children's size six. And would you please make that one a bunny suit?"

"A bunny suit?" the Commander repeated.

Barkin perked up. "You know sir, with the hands and feet and ears. My niece had one when she was little. They're really adorable."

"Ears and feet, got it," Monty took his notes and sighed.

GTSFB

Since she had lost the hut, Shego had retreated to the cave. She resisted the temptation of asking BATES for a progress report, as it could possible ruin some portion of his work. The Goworlder was looking over the astrolaunch when she heard someone enter the cave.

"Mother Goose," it was Shin.

"What?" Shego asked, a little perturbed at being addressed by her call name.

"Briar Patch is calling you."

Shego perked up. "You better clear out of the cave," she left immediately. Shin followed, but stopped at the cave mouth. She waited until Shego had gone down the path, and then signaled to the bushes. The other children rushed into the cave and entered the ships.

It took no time to reach the hut. Kim was standing on the porch, sweeping. "Good morning," she called out.

Surprised at her own manners, Shego gestured to the hut. "I'm wanted on the ether."

Kim tried and failed to step out of the way. Shego tried to go the other way, but again Kim failed to anticipate, and ended up in the other woman's path. With a feeble smile, she slowly backed into the hut, followed by the older woman.

Shego took up the ether. "Kingsport, this is Shego."

"Mother Goose, this is Briar Patch," Barkin said, wondering when, if ever, this Star Watcher would ever get with the program.

"You had something for me?"

"Big Bad Wolf had a message concerning the supply drop. He left it with Goody Two Shoes."

Shego clicked off the either, hoping she cut Barkin off in some way. "You've got a message for me?"

"Yes, Fiske couldn't wait for you, so he gave me the message," Kim went back to sweeping,

"Well, where is it, Princess?"

"What?"

"The message!"

"Oh, that," Kim pulled out her tablet. Shego puzzled at the strange letters.

"I can't read that!"

"Sorry, I put it in a language that I thought would be safe, in case the Lorwardians intercepted it."

"Can you read it to me, then?" Shego asked.

"Sure," Kim made a show of taking the tablet back. "Meap!"

"What?"

"I picked Carcosan. No Lorwardian knows it."

Shego's nostrils flared. "Let's pretend that I don't either. What does it say?"

"Commander Fiske says there's too much enemy activity to risk a…how do you say 'supply drop'?"

Shego rocked on her heels. "Supply drop."

Kim nodded, doing a good job of feigning surprise. "There's too much enemy activity to risk a supply drop, so he asks us to make do with what we have."

"No!" Shego started to leave.

"Uh, Shego," Kim began mildly. "I don't suppose it would do any good if I ask you to share certain of your personal belongings."

"Well, so far you've shared me out of my home, my bed, my food and…" he looked at her. "My shirt. How about you share some of my things with me?"

"Would you like some tea?" Kim asked.

"Tea?" Shego was nonplussed.

"Lemon or milk?"

"MILK!"

"Oh, sorry, no milk." Just then Kim could see the children coming back up the path. "But we could use some additional place settings, tools, and above all, a change of clothing."

"Well above all, I could use some whiskey," Shego responded. "How about a trade?"

"Sorry," Kim shrugged. "Not going to happen."

"Then have a good one, Princess," Shego turned to leave when Drago almost plowed into her. "Watch it!"

Shin raced by. The twins gave her a friendly (?) greeting. Then Agni bumped into her. "You stepped on my foot!" she accused.

"You put it there." Shego responded. She made her way down the steps. Jane came up, careful to avoid showing her back to Shego.

"Hey…" before she could investigate Jane, Alexandra came up with some rope and a large hammer. Shego reached for it, a second too slow. It connected with the top of her boot. The material prevented it from breaking bones, but allowed the pain to come right on through.

She hobbled after the girl. "Stop, you!"

"Shego! Stop chasing the kids!"

"Kids? They're crooks!" Shego glared at Kim. "And you're the crookiest!"

"Shego," Kim's salute lacked any respect. The curtain door to the hut went into place. With nothing else to do, Shego grumbled and limped away.

Kim Possible and related characters are the property of Walt Disney.


	6. Matters of Life and Death

Chapter Five: Matters of Life and Death

Early, far too early the next morning, a sour Shego peered through her binoculars from the entrance of the cave. She could see the children emerging in the clothing stolen from her the day before. Her teeth gritted when she saw her best(!) pair of work coveralls had been cut in half to provide outfits for the smallest children. One wore the lower half with her arms sticking though the pockets while the top half made a dress for the other child, whatever her name was. Kim had used similar ingenuity dressing the others. At least Drago was able to wear one of her old mission cat suits without alterations. The source of her aggravation also needed to only roll up the pants legs and tie the bottom of a shirt in order to fit in her stolen garments.

Once the little crooks left followed by the crookiest, Shego set down her eye piece and slipped toward the hut. Her clothes she could part with, but she licked her lips in anticipation of reclaiming some other, much more vital, possession.

Inside the hut was Jane, wearing the top half of the old coveralls. She took up the mic and flipped the switch to the ether machine, as she had seen the grownups do. "Rumplestiltskin, Rumplestiltskin, can anyone hear me?"

"I can hear you," came a reply on the ether. On his end, Monty worked to maintain his temper.

"I can hear you, too Rumplestiltskin," Jane said excitedly.

"Where's Shego?" the Commander asked.

"She's not here. Nobody's here except me and my friend Helen. I'm not well today. Ms. Possible says I must have caught a bug at the station. Everyone else left, they say it's to look for food, but I think they're afraid of getting sick."

"But your friend Helen is not afraid?"

"Of course not. Ghosts don't get sick. As she says, she's already caught her death. She giggles when she says that, it must be an old joke."

"Yes, quite. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Go and get Shego, please."

At this point of the conversation, the Star Watcher padded into the hut and looked around while Jane was distracted with the ether. She started to look around, silent and purposeful.

"The Filthy Beast?" the little girl curled her lip. "We don't talk to her."

Monty laughed on his end. The noise brought Shego over. At that Jane sat down on a cot. "Come on, Helen."

"Is that you, Shego?"

"No, it's Helen," the woman answered.

"Keep them away from the ether, will you?" Monty groaned.

"Keep them away from me!" the woman shot back.

"Shego, as much as it may go against your character, I must ask that you treat Ms. Possible and her charges with respect. Those aren't mere children: they come from very prominent scientific and political families. The twins are the daughters of the Carcosan monarch. As for the boy, his father commands the Trackulan garrison nearest us. And I could go on if I felt the need. The Lorwardians are conducting a secret diplomacy with all the vigor of their open warfare. The coalition is shaky; they would like nothing better than to turn some of our allies into neutrals, or even have them change sides."

"C'mon, Monty, you know that 'Sweet and Agreeable' is my middle name," Shego said in a syrupy-sweet voice. If she had looked over her shoulder, she would have seen Jane turn her head, nod, and make a 'gag me' motion, as if she were imitating someone.

"Not according to your records, nor my experience with you," Monty answered drily. "Briar Patch out."

After she turned off the ether, Shego turned to Jane. "Beat it, kid."

"Ms Possible told us to stay in the hut," Jane responded.

"Always do what you're told?" When the girl nodded Shego shook her head. "That's no way to spend your childhood."

The girl made no reply, so Shego went about her original task. She checked under blankets and bunks, in the cabinet and the ration boxes. One place remained. Shego smirked at the child on the cot, who blandly sat there. Shego put her hands on the handles to the oven door. Experienced fingers turned the handles just a bit. There was no evidence of any defense. She triumphantly pulled the doors open, and was rewarded with the glossy black bottle.

Triumph turned to disappointment when she hefted the bottle. There was no slosh of liquid. A piece of paper served as a cork, and when she pulled it out, she could tell that Good Two Shoes had washed the bottle clean of even the scent of nectar. Naturally, the paper held a message.

**Shego,**

**You've shown that I can't trust you with this stuff around the kids, so I've hidden it where you'll never find it. Have a nice day.**

**Kim**

The pretty face hardened in anger. Shego stormed out to watch the skies. Maybe she would spot a Lorwardian invasion force, something that would prompt Monty to side with her for a job well done.

GTS

No fleet showed itself, but the next day Shego found herself nervously watching a spot in the sky. It was not a large ship, but it was spiky with weapons in the way only Lorwardian vessels were. Worse, it was actually in the atmosphere, and a hatch was opening.

She hurried down the path to the hut. Jane was inside, of course. This time she had company. Kim stood at the stove, stirring something in a pot that actually smelled pretty good.

"You can cook?" Shego marveled.

The redhead looked offended. "Of course. Why wouldn't I? Since I doubt you came to harsh on my cooking, let me guess. Well, you won't…"

Kim puzzled as Shego pulled down the pulse rifle, and stuffed the energy pistol in her calf holster. She found the older woman's intense reading of the weapon's power rating alarming.

"Shego, what's up?

"We've got company," Satisfied with her reading, Shego looked around. "Where are the others?

"Out looking for food."

"Come on, we need to get them," She stopped at the door long enough to give Jane a curt instruction. "Stay here and stay quiet."

Kim pointed to the ether. "Should we call Briar Patch?"

Shego did not stop. "Why? The Lorwardians can call Monty themselves in five minutes."

Kasi and Sheki were coming up the path. Kim did not even need to say the magic word; the two girls immediately went quiet and slipped into the hut. A short time later they saw Agni. As always, Agni gave Shego a dark look.

"Maybe we could lose just one…" Shego's comment drew an even darker glare from Kim. "Kidding, kidding, she would just tick them off and they'd torch the whole planet," she turned her attention back to Agni. "Where are the others?"

"Shin's got Alexandra. They're collecting coconuts by the beach. Drago went a little ahead. Said he was patrolling," she rolled her eyes.

_Something about her I like, probably the same thing that drives me nuts. _"Come on, Princess, we've got some rescuing to do."

Shego and Kim rushed down the path. They spotted Alexandra walking, absently stroking the coconut she cradled. It would have been a sweet scene, but for the speck in the sky that grew larger by the moment.

Fortunately, Alexandra was under a dense canopy of trees. Shin clung to the trunk of one of them, just below the fruit. Plainly, she had seen the ship. Shego set up behind the log, resting the gun on the wood and watching to descending enemy. Kim raced forward at a crouch, grabbed Alexandra, returned and settled down beside Shego, pulling some beach litter over them.

"Nice idea," the pale woman nodded.

"Thanks," Kim said quietly, but with a surprising touch of warmth. The good feelings vanished quickly. "One of us had to go out and get Alexandra, I knew better than asking which of us was doing it."

"What, was I supposed to 'be a man' or something?" Shego snapped, but snapped quietly. "Besides, Lorwardians can smell blood, and I don't have a good track record with that girl."

They looked up to Shin. Kim motioned for her to stay put. Shin nodded, and hugged tight, wisely burying her face in the tree. Shego turned the rifle to full power.

"Cheap Commonwealth: the rifle's civilian grade! It would take a lucky shot to bring that thing down with one blast."

"Then get lucky if you need to," Kim said. "Though, wouldn't it help if we put all our firepower in the fight? You packed the pistol, right?"

"In the calf holster. Get it. Hey! It's not that kind of party!"

"Who said it was?" Kim retrieved the pistol. "I was trying to use just my arm. Wanted to make as little movement as possible."

"Well, the last time a guy made that kind of movement down my backside and leg; I got a good dinner out of it."

Kim's smile was most unexpected. "We get out of this; you'll have to join us sometime."

Alexandra tugged at both women, who went as silent as the child. The Lorwardian stepped off of his hover skid and stretched his enormous arms wide. He pulled the energy staff from the skid and looked to the sea. The large creatures could scarcely be quiet when they wanted to. His gargling speech carried over the log as clearly as if he were just on the other side of it, not forty meters away.

Shego shook her head. "Something wrong with his translator?"

"No, lower ranking Lorwardians often don't carry them when not on a mission. That way they don't have to worry about someone offering surrender." Kim's knowledge impressed alarmed and irritated Shego.

"Well, if he's not on a mission, what is he up to?"

"If you'd shut up I could tell you…"

"Wait, you speak Lorwardian too?"

Kim's answer was to ignore the question. "He's bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Came down here hoping that the terraformers made some sea crocodilians. He's seen some of our nature vids and thinks they'd put up a good fight. Hasn't seen any action in a while. Thinks his leaders…Warhowk and Wormanga, are too cautious. He says they think too much. Says…oh!"

"What?"

"Mom's a doctor, and she assures me Lorwardians are fully humanoid. What he suggests they do is anatomically possible, technically, but neither of them would enjoy it."

The large alien growled and turned down the beach. His staff glowed, and a tree exploded. Everyone gasped when Shin slipped a bit.

"We've got problems," Kim said.

"It's worse than that," Shego pointed to the right. Drago was slipping through the brush towards the Lorwardian. "He must think the monster is after Shin. The boy's quiet…he might get to within ten meters before the Lorwardian guns him down."

"What do we do?" Kim asked.

"You get Shin if she can't hold on. I'll take care of Drago," Shego carefully set the gun down and began to move off the beach. The Lorwardian was making far too much noise to hear her, but she knew that there was no way he would miss Drago's approach. _Boy is taking the wrong angle. _Once she was in the brush she picked up speed.

Kim put the pistol away, slid over the log and waved at Shin. The girl's expression said it all: she could not hold on. Making sure the tree stood between the Lorwardian and herself, Kim rushed forward just in time to catch the falling child. They tumbled silently in the sand.

For her part Shego ran as low as she possibly could. She dodged the vegetation, lest the tossing fronds attract the hunter's attention. Drago was so intent on his target that he did not see Shego until the woman plowed into him. She jammed her hand into his mouth so that he would not shout. _Argh! Canines!_ Fortunately, he relaxed at once.

Women and children hugged the ground now. The Lorwardian's frustration blossomed in a series of explosions as he unleashed his power staff upon a row of trees. He spun the weapon until it was a blur, and sent a final fireball crashing through jungle. The man laughed harshly before returning to his hover skid and flying north.

Once he was out of sight everyone came out. "We should be okay," Kim said. "He said something about going to the grasslands on the northern hemisphere. Apparently there are some very large animals there."

"My apologies," Drago bowed to Shego in a very formal manner. "I did not mean to bite you."

"S'right," the pale woman pulled off her glove. "Didn't break the skin, forget it."

"I can't," he continued. "My attack was ill considered. Father would say I pursued glory before victory, and put everyone in danger."

Kim put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's all right. You only did it because you thought the Lorwardian was going to get Shin. That was very brave of you."

"It was, thanks," Shin nodded.

The boy looked over at Shego, who was already turning back to the cabin. "We need to get back and check on the others. Don't want them rushing out, that goon might come back."

The Goworlder did not notice the boy's gaze following her up the path. Kim did.

GTS

The Lorwardian hunting expedition renewed Shego's interest in repairing the Eckland. BATES was handling the hull fabrication, but the asteroid prospector knew from experience that any hull injury involved other issues as well. A control panel on a sleep chamber presented a possible mortal threat. Shego looked up to see Alexandra leaning on the sleeper cover, staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. Her grumpy nature changed when the girl plopped an unopened bottle on the glass. "Oh, well, it would be rude not to take what's offered, and I've always believed in being polite."

Her hand shook just a bit when she reached for the Old Damnation. They steadied enough to twist off the top. The pull was long, fiery and divine. "Thanks."

Alexandra continued to stare with her dual colored eyes. Shego reached into the drawer under the sleep chamber. She produced a flat, round disk with colored lights running along the edges. A little twist of her hand and the disk floated in the air, emitting a faint whistle. The girl was clearly entranced.

"Like it?" Alexandra nodded eagerly. "All right. It's yours if you repeat three words after me. Now, they have to be exactly right, got it?"

The girl nodded.

"Elephant," Shego said.

"Elephant," Alexandra echoed.

"Rhinoceros," Shego smiled.

"Rhinoceros," the girl had her second word.

"Wrong!" Shego said.

"No it wasn't!" Alexadra protested.

"Not 'no', 'wrong'. 'Wrong' was the third word. Sorry, you lose." The girl grabbed the bottle, much to Shego's alarm. But instead of snaps or threats, her voice was good natured. "Didn't know you'd be such a sore loser. Here you go."

Alexandra gave Shego a huge smile and took off. She was hardly gone a moment when Shego heard the disk whistle. She looked up to see Shin standing with Alexandra.

"I'm all out of disks," Shego said.

"Shin can help us," Alexandra chimed.

"Help us what?"

"Fix your boat," Alexandra answered. "Shin knows all about boats. Her family has been in the space force for generations."

"That so?" when Shin nodded Shego had an offer. "You can clean the consoles."

"Smashing!" the girl replied.

"There cleaning pads should be in the cabinet to the left." The two girls left, and were almost instantly replaced by two more.

"Meap!" Kasi said excitedly.

"Meap." Sheki agreed. The two smiled at Shego.

"Uh, yeah. You do that." They took off, hopefully not to decouple the safety on the reactor. The bottle called out to Shego. She touched the neck, then thought better off it and decided to complete this rather delicate and important task first.

It was not long until all seven of the children were in the cave. Five were cleaning the astrolaunch's exterior, Drago stood just inside the waterfall, keeping watch. The last child, Alexandra, watched Shego painting a name on the side of the ship's escape pod.

"Shego…"

The woman looked up. "Look, kid, I know you've been saving up a lot of words, but would you let me finish?"

"But you've got the name wrong," Alexandra said.

Shego replied with remarkable patience. "No I don't. Pods come out at an angle. You put the letters on like this so they are upside up when the pod rights itself in flight."

"But you've got the letters backwards."

"No, they're just upside down, when you turn the ship it…" Shego got up and tilted her head to the side. Sure enough, the lettering was reversed. Shego's scowl lacked any menace. "How can I work with you chattering in my ear all the time? Go help the others."

After Alexandra left, Shego brought her hand up to her face and blew into it. _No, can't use that as an excuse. _She checked it again. "That can't be."

Drago pulled the binoculars out from the waterfall. He called out the arcane signal Shego had given him. "Bogie on your six!"

Shego immediately slapped the vacuum top back on the bottle and hid it in the escape pod. With the evidence hidden, she resumed her relaxed posture and waited.

The waterfall parted where Kim entered, holding a sheet of transparent aluminum over her head. She entered with only a little water on her hands and feet. She had been using the improvised umbrella from the first. The children happily ignored it, plunging in and out of the water. As for Shego, she had her own way of staying dry.

Kim set the sheet down. "Well, here you all are…" her voice took on a scolding tone. "Shego, look at their clothes!"

"Their clothes?" Shego was incredulous. "They're my clothes!"

"Whatever," the redhead rolled her eyes. "Whosever they are, just look at them: they're filthy!"

The older woman shook her head. "Nah, they're just dirty. I'm filthy."

"Be that as it may, it's time to start dinner."

Alexandra walked up to Kim. "But I want to stay."

"Alexandra, I know…" Kim did a double take. "What did you…say?"

"I want to stay and help Shego fix her ship. It's fun. And look what she gave me!" she held up the disk.

"That's nice," Kim whispered. She stared in wonder at the Goworlder.

For her part, Shego nodded. "I know, I know. I took a perfectly fine, silent child and created a monster: a talking human. My bad."

"And they say I can do anything," the Midworlder mumbled. She spoke again to the children, using her normal tone. "We need to get those roots Agni found started. They take time to soften."

"Why are we cooking those?" Shin asked. "We have boxes of ready meals."

"We don't know how long we'll be here. If the Lorwardians keep nosing around, our pickup will probably come later rather than sooner. And we don't know the weather or growing cycles of this planet. Who knows if we'll find food next week? We need to conserve our rations. Besides," she brightened. "fresh food always tastes better."

Agni shook her head. "Not that stuff."

"Don't worry, we have salt now that the evaporator is working, and those herbs you found will work wonders." Kim answered.

"Meap?" Sheki asked. The suggestion excited Kasi, who added her own question.

"Meap," the redhead replied. She turned to Shego. "Do you have a small grinder? Something that handle things the size of very small pebbles?"

"Over there, in that box," Shego pointed. "The tube with the clear top. It can grind as fine as you want. I use it for ore samples, so be sure to wash it out first."

"Thanks," Kim spoke the familiar word, and the twins were off with their new tool. The others followed with less enthusiasm. Alexandra stunned the adults by rushing over to give Shego a hug before leaving. When only the adults were in the cave Kim shook her head slowly.

"Next time I need to get them to do something, I know who to go to."

"Hey, it's not my fault they abandoned your assignments to look for some fun."

"But it was supposed to be fun. Looking around the island for food…"

"Let me guess: gives them a chance to experience the land, learn about flora and fauna. Give them an appreciation of a time when people were directly responsible for feeding themselves."

"Well, yes," the Midworlder said. "I didn't say it in that many words, but…"

"But that's how it came out," Shego leaned back. "Kids don't want to always be doing things because of all the good it will do them. Sometimes you just have to let them do things. Over explaining takes fun things like running around the island and turning it into a job."

"And getting them to clean your ship wasn't work?"

"Oh, it's work. I just didn't ask them to do it."

"Yeah, I bet you're good at that," this time Kim spoke without judgment in her tone.

"You do what you can out here, especially when you don't have the money to pay people."

Kim looked at the Ekland. "How's the repair work going?"

"It's getting there. BATES can't talk; the job takes almost every erg the engines can put out. I just hope he can get it done in a week or so. That last call was too close."

"Agreed. I was thinking, Shego. That sheet of transal I'm using, it's a danger out there. Even if I put it in the pool, it could leave an outline that a sensor could pick up. Even if the sensor missed it, a Lorwardian looking around might see it. No machine can beat a hunter's eyes."

"You could just walk through like the rest of us."

The younger woman cocked an eyebrow. "Nobody walks through the way you do. Don't bother denying it, I got a sample of your heat ray or whatever it is. And you haven't seen my hair wet. Besides, you've got all kinds of materials here that can be used to create scaffolding that can hold the sheet in place. I assume you have some motors that can be controlled by a small remote?"

"Several, complete with remotes."

"Good. Let's get it set up."

"What? Don't you have a dinner to get ready?"

"The kids can handle it," Kim smiled. "Besides, like you said, they'll have more fun doing it themselves."

Shego had to nod. _Kid learns fast. _She moved over to a stack of scaffolding. "You want to put it over on the right? The path is easier there."

"No, on the left. The entrance on the right has grass that would get beaten down. The left has rocks that don't even have moss. The water also comes down a little less thick there. It will be easier to put the screen up. It can even be set deeper in the cave: less of a chance for it to be spotted."

"Wow, do you think everything to death?" the Goworlder wondered.

Instead of bridling, Kim just laughed while they assembled the materials at the desired location. "Ron's been saying that to me for years."

"Ron?" Shego asked as she began bolting the frame to the floor. "A friend?"

Kim nodded. "Best friend since pre-K. We grew up together, did everything together. I've told him things I won't tell Mom."

_Like where you really, really like to be touched?_ "Where is he now?" When the younger woman looked pensive, Shego reproached herself. _What a question to ask in wartime!_

"I don't know. He went to the Triplanetary Academy last year, when relations with Lorwardia began to sour. We stayed in contact for until three months ago, when he was transferred to a special program. Then, like they say, came the war."

"I'm sure he's all right," Shego consoled.

"I'd just like to hear from him. He's such a goof, but a lot of that's an act. You don't get into the Academy unless you're ready, even now," the younger woman placed the cross beam in place. "You want to weld this?"

"Sure. Close your eyes," Shego brought her hand up and extended the forefinger.

"I've heard you and the Commander talk. It sounds like you're a little more than just on the same side."

"What makes you say that?"

"The way you two argue. Finished with the weld?"

"Yeah, open your eyes," Shego looked at her work. "I've known Monty since I came out here. I've worked around him and for him a couple of times."

"You…like him?"

"Like him? Not the way you're thinking. We're a lot alike, that's all. He came here to get away from everything. He told me he was tired of all the hypocrisy, the posturing, everyone going loopy when the 35th in line for the Throne made planet fall. The rest of it was just what happens out here: a boy, a girl, a zero gravity hammock. You know the equation: one plus one equals sixty…"

Kim suddenly seemed a bit uncomfortable. "These hinges should work."

They assembled the rest in silence. Shego decided not to press things by needling Kim any more. _She could be, you know. There are a lot more of them out there than the vids let on, and not all of them are fanatics or weirdos. _Although she would never have told Kim, it was nice to simply work with someone every now and then. Few jobs were lonelier than asteroid prospecting. Always out on your own, trying not to attract attention. She had often gone weeks at a time without seeing anyone.

_And maybe she's not that bad. Sure, she's bossy and sincere…two things I can't stand, but those things can come in handy when you're handling a bunch of kids in a crisis. _

They checked the sheet one last time. "Ready for the test? Kim asked.

"Sure," Shego picked up the remote.

"Hey," Kim started, "maybe we should get back a little more!"

She spoke a moment too late. The motor flipped the sheet up and water splashed over the young woman.

"Sorry," Shego actually meant it.

"It's no big," Kim actually laughed. She pulled her hair back off her face. Shego's old shirt clung to her, making the Goworlder realize just how threadbare it was. "Coming to dinner with us tonight?"

The black haired woman shook her head. "Not tonight. Here's the remote."

"Thanks," Kim looked a bit confused. "I hope it's not anything I did."

"You? No, no! I…just have something I've got to do."

"Okay, but the invitation stands," the young woman walked under the exit and activated the motor. The sheet went down.

Shego was alone again. _I've been out in space too long. _She took a deep breath and walked to where the spot in the waterfall where the shadows were deepest and the water coldest. She stood under it for some time.


End file.
